DAY ONE .:.

REST

last night sundown to today at sundown is what we Adventists and what Jews call the Sabbath. during this 24 hour period we do no work and dwell on nothing worldly and materialist.

it is primarily a day to recreate the spirit and celebrate with family and friends.

recently, I have gone out on friday nights, eaten out on Sabbaths, and participated in any activities that I could see as bonding with my close friends, despite what those activities might entail.

while I am not a staunch rule follower, and I believe that the spirit of the law is more than the letter, I also know that God's plan is to bless us with his law not to condemn us.

"The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath" (Mark 2:27).

The Sabbath is a gift from God, and now days more than ever it is needed. American society is so work focused, so much about getting ahead and ignoring things of true worth: relationships, family, the condition of our spirit, our mental solace and recreation -- without the Sabbath in my life, recently, I would have no shelter, nothing to buffer me from everyday stress.

So on this day, I have tried to legitimately take advantage of it. I say take advantage of it, because even though we desire differently, I wanted to see what the true blessing would be if I didn't do what I thought was best.

///////////////////////////////

I told my mom that I was going on a journey for 30 days of God.. and in typical Mom-like fashion, she warned me not to get that fanatical about it. haha Now you see where I come from. She encouraged me to explore and learn from all vantage points and not just immerse myself in God alone. I had to tell her that it didn't mean I wouldn't stop exploring, God NEVER asked us to do that.. I just am going to replace my longing for love and acceptance with God's plan instead.

I love my mother because I never had "the guilt trip of God" that most people of faith suffer. She warns me about getting to caught up in the mystical and the "God" that we generally perceive. God gave us a brain for a reason and most issues can be better solved by using our heads. God calls us to go to a counselor if we know we are not thinking straight. Get help if we are hurt. We go to the hospital if we break our leg, we don't just sit and pray to God to heal it.. Why do we think broken hearts are any different?

So I want to tell you that the healing of my heart is going to need more than a reliance on God, but a commitment to Him, to get things straight holistically.

///////////////////////////////

So far, the biggest blessing I have had is a intense sense of peace.

All the things I burdening myself with..

- School
- Career
- Love

..are all, in my mind now, not up to me. Even if the hands I am placing these things into are just going to drop the ball in these 30 days, I feel SO much better knowing its not totally up to me right now.

People I worry about and love, that I felt responsible for, I am praying for, talking to God about. I know he has them in the palm of his hand and I don't feel responsible for them anymore. I know that they are exactly where they need to be on their journey right now.

I don't have to focus on my own ability so much or feel like its my duty to get ahead. Creatively, I can be supportive and less competitive because I know that where I need to be and the niche that I am going to fill is not up to me. I know that, just as much as I do good, the next day I could totally bomb and do aweful.. so its really not me that good things come from.

Everything I have been working towards in the last four years is all going to come to be up in the air very soon, but I have taken a big breath and given it all away.

///////////////////////////////

Another thing that has scared me about this experiment is people's judgment.

Everyone is scared of Christian judgment, but for me, I am afraid of other people's perceptions of Christians and judging me for wanting to be a part of it.

I don't want to be a weirdo because I want to believe in a God -- and I want to prove that being of God doesn't mean you have to be a werido.

Christians are so busy concentrating on being out of the world that we forget that God created the world for us! We need to set our eyes on the bigger picture, but God made us in the world, he gave us this one life based in the world, and we can't forget what a gift it is. When we focus on the afterlife so much that we forget what a blessing we already have... if we focus on the afterlife so much that we forget that people's souls don't need to be converted but transformed, then we are worshiping a different God.