watchers

Writing every day.

I had something awesome thought out but then tonight happened.

Today was kinda rough, but not the roughest day I've ever had.

"I'm becoming an adult" my boss told me.

Its the first time I've felt like I've been growing up. I've always felt the same age inside my body, even when my body itself was groaning.. but now for the first time I feel stretched.. like too little butter over too much waffle and I have to grow where I'm not getting enough coverage.

I kinda which there was an escape hatch from the middle of the week straight to the end so that I can at least pause and process. But life is life, you have to obey its rules.

Today though was all made up for by one little thing..




Jill Sprecher is something my boss also mentions regularly. She directed but two films, but I have to say, she does kinda remind me of me… in a I-don't-know-anything-about-her sorta way. My boss said she needed time before starting her work to process and formula who she was creatively. I think this is definitely true of me. I have been smoldering for quite awhile.. and plus he film Clockwatchers was somewhat of a masterpiece. As least to the eyes of a bubble girl from rural Adventist Washington. What really got me is how stark the production design was. I think the genius of the film was how it built me up from the blank basement of its look and then layered more complex subtext, characters and plot line. Pretty bold to rely on no gimmicks. I wish I could be half of her. Yet….. have you ever heard of Clockwatchers? honest. I mean, probably a generous amount of people do, but before this… no one I knew. There are so many good films that no one sees or has heard of. Stress beyond stress for me is that thought, that if you make a film that becomes the best film you've never heard of… where does that leave you? Can you keep making films?


Back to today. I decide to go on a loooooooooooooong run after work.

I had almost past this video rental shop. Its probably one of the last that is independently owned. My only but almost daily interaction with it is simply running by.

But today something caught my eye..

I stopped.. back tracked. And looked again.

Yes! that familiar stark look. And then Parker Posey started down the hall of a large group of filing cabinets towards me. Clockwatchers. the Clockwatchers!!



It was enough to get a smile. I forgot about the trouble of the day.

If the best film you've never heard of was playing in an out of the way video rental store in Seattle, I knew this couldn't be coincidence. That was enough to get a smile. It was enough to destroy my worry about my future..