Vulnerability.

My last epiphany of the day is this.

To not judge others you must be where they have been. . ......?

That is a good idea, because then you have context and a platform for understanding. But I don’t want to go out and get raped to understand and help someone else through that.

Yet.. I find that my ability to empower and serve others is impaired by my judgment. I put the brakes on with some people and put them at arms length because I don’t understand them.

So hence! I found the broken link and my internal issue that is halting my progress.

Vulnerability. 

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Doesn’t it always seem that the things that we put on others are really just our own issues?

The only way to connect with others is vulnerability.

But everyone suffers from shame, which is the inability to connect because we don’t feel that we are enough, or that we won’t be accepted because we are messed up. 

And because we fear those thoughts and feelings we numb them.. by drinking, drugging, sexing, God-ing them away. We aspire to make those chaotic feelings contained because they are distasteful to us.

But what do we end up doing? Shutting down the natural ability to feel anything else… love, joy, peace… contented-ness.

So then we feel shame again and we stifle our acceptance and growth by diving back into our cave of numbness and addiction. We become half a human. 

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I have been pretty unwilling to be vulnerable … and I have set enormously high standards for myself and others, stifling other’s ability to be vulnerable with me.. sometimes to connect with me.

A persons true character should always be assessed in friendships and you may end up closer to those who value similar things…. but I realized that I don’t need to be on the level of others to understand them. I don’t need to loosen up my standards per say; I don't need to do things that disrespect who I truly am and what I truly want.. to have a connection with others .. I just need to maintain a goal with them that is bigger than myself.

Once again, I need to become a servant. To see people through the lens of embracing my own vulnerabilities and being willing to equally, fairly share them too. To not be so self-aborbed to neglect connecting with others. To not be a servant to myself but to my STRONG belief that people deserve to be able to connect, to feel genuinely cared about and fearless about their vulnerabilities in life. To know that, with me, their vulnerabilities will not become a tool for me to tear them down but reversed to be their incredible tool to connect with me in a real, genuine and amazingly wonderful way.

Once I am tied to my beliefs, instead of myself, others can get behind me, because they don't really have to get behind me, the person, all they have to do is get behind me, my beliefs and my ideas! and maybe, just maybe, we can leap frog each other into a better happier, fulfilled and connected life.

!! All these previously random things are making sense. This is so bad ass.

tell me what I can do. to be there for you.