Another God

I want to serve God. I want to serve no other, but I don't want to be a road bump another Christian, another star without any light... pretty much useless. The only thing I see in the people that shoot down my God and what I believe is pain... pain in my heart that I can't share Heaven, Hope, and rich life worth living. My heart aches... aches for those who drink, do drugs, and anything else to feel... just to feel. To feel accepted, to be something more than a road bump. Life will step all over you if you aren't any part of it. That is how I feel. I care so much about about people who constantly hurt themselves, yet I feel like I can't do anything,,, because I won't smoke pot with them... I won't go to drinking parties... they won't listen to me unless I am hammered, baked... because you must be an idiot to believe in something that offers something too good to be true. I feel so empty sometimes. I know that God can fill it... i know he can but then it happens all over again. I'm a rabbit in your headlights.
Pray for a new day...