So, you may not know, but in February I quit my job. For reasons I shall not go into detail about. Needless to say, it was a bad situation. A decision made on desperate terms given the current economic climate.
So, I have been very poor while scrounging for film work. Seattle is a hard nut to crack.
But ultimately it is my home, and I really have just found an awesome group of filmmakers that I fit with.
Its funny, while being poor and feeling crazy because of the lack of stability (which terrifies me!!).. I really have not been happier since moving into Seattle.
Its funny how the things that we fear most are usually the things that make us happiest or raise our self esteem.
1. Working at a job that hurts you and your self esteem
--Security in a pay check
vs.
2. Scary unemployment/freelancing and scrapping it.
--Loads of happiness and self esteem but A LOT of initial fear.
A lot of stuff has been going down like that in my life.
I think that when you take a risk and do something you fear --- face a demon in a lot of ways.. you can also proud of that achievement when it blossoms. The fact that you stared your fears down and decided that you would face them to be happier and love life more. To love yourself more.
Really, you only have one shot at life. And more than the easy way out.. there is the quality way through life. Sometimes harder but with great dividends and A LOT of self-respect along the way.
This was dinner for me tonight.
And I was thinking, Sahale! How can you truly love yourself when you have reduced yourself to such a lack of the luxuries of life!
And then I realized, that pathetic portion of rice-y gruel represented freedom from an oppressive occupation, freedom to work on my own projects, and open doors to build the career and life that would never be possible otherwise.
I'll take it!
