the sstteeppss

Last night I helped with re-shoots for The Steps. I didn't know whether to be happy, excited, terrified, or downtrodden. In the end I decided to be none of those, haha, I decide to just be myself. I don't know why I have such an issue with revealing my whole personality to people.. maybe if someone rejects the bare bones of who I am, it would hurt more. But it turned out to be really fun. I realized how completely blessed I am to have the friends that I have in my life. Noah Collins, Beth Dickson Neuhoff, and John McLeod are totally kindred spirits, which is really hard to find in the South, especially at Southern. Some how I don't really enjoy hanging out with people my own age as much. Before this summer I felt 23 and after the events of this summer I feel really, really old. At least 30. haha

Noah and I sat in his super, super warm car. ((man, he cranks up the heat!!)) and talked about musical endeavors and listened to Animal Collective really loud. We laughed at my stupid stupid jokes. I don't even think they are that funny. He is easy to be friends with.

Beth and I sat in her car after we were done shooting, talking till 1:30 am!! haha She told me stories of her youth and we traded ideas. It was comforting to talk to someone who understood where my heart was coming from. Beth is Catholic, but seems chill about her faith, like me. She goes to shows and drinks some wine with her meals, like me. I think that when I am 50 I will be a lot like her. She also is good to talk to because she respects my faith. We seem to value things on eye level. Life seems crazier when you hear it from the depths of someone else's heart and give them piece of your heart as well. So many sweet, sweet moments and at the same time so many sad, sobering things. You really feel like you aren't the only one.

I saw John McLeod on the re-shoot for the first time in about a month. He had been in New York working on a puppet show that I had helped shoot some footage for. He asked me about my school and filmmaking endeavors and recommended some good ginger ale. I missed his laugh, so I told a few corny jokes to hear it again. He looks intimidating but has the softest heart. He is a sculptor and works with marble, metal, and wood. He is genuine. He would do what he does even if no one else cared.

Everyone else, of course, were really good to see as well.

This summer took a really big chunk of my life, it was good to have it back again.

I really enjoy being on set and working. It's a kind of completing feeling.

Like everything in life is in its place.