chill.

today I chill with a glass of water on my lawn.
life is pretty good.
I don't want to jinx it, but the amazing amount of things that I have learned this year
is staggering. I feel like most of my college experience was stagnate, expect for maybe film
and now it all is coming together.

the bugs the south is so loud. something I will never forget about this place.

at the end of July I start out on my epic trip back home to Seattle.
Although excited, I also am apprehensive. I guess anything I do now is new, so I will have to be apprehensive about it.

I slowly have learned that I can attain the relationship that I want in my life. I have to look at myself and know myself
to the deepest core. Then I have to have patience. Relationships are slow and amazing creatures, and when you look back at the years of knowing someone, that time and the journey is what makes them who they are to you. There is quick passion.. or a flash in the pan and then there is slow and burning and amazing passion of knowing someone in and out. They become a brother almost, a friend, a lover. All I can say is that now I am a person that is solid for a relationship. I can burn for someone and not get hurt, and I can know myself and look for something deeper and more substantial. something sustainable.

I can't wait to meet him : )

Being touched and taken of care of by someone is such a need. I am not ashamed of my neediness anymore, I just have learned to manage my emotions and become more mature about that need. I realized that being with someone for the rest of your life is something we long for because we need someone to take care of and someone to take care of us.. someone we love. Being touched is so powerful. It is recreating.. it is restoring.. it is healing.. it is sacred. It makes up for the toils and gives us a connection, a special connection with that future true friend.

As a tribute to my time in Chattanooga, I think that I am going to visit my good friends before I leave. love on them before I go. I want to document the whole trip from Chattavegas to Seattle and every national park in-between..! haha Get a Flip and a hardrive and GO! I want to make the whole thing into an extraordinary adventure documentary that I can share with the kiddies someday and YOU of course my bloggy friends.