Life is too short

For all your over thinkers out there. (i.e. ME)
Life is too short to waste.

Life is too short to waste wondering or wishing.
Life is too short to waste time pursuing things you think you want and compromise things you know (intuition is a strong force .. come on you KNOW even if you swear you don't know) you need.
Life is also too short to work on things you have no control over.

Narrowing it down what is important to what I value, makes me happy.
Being able to take care of myself also makes me happy.
It really should be that simple.. if you are okay with you.

I do think a lot about how I want to be a filmmaker. But I also think a lot about how I want to also be happy.
I also think about how being happy might be more important.
And knowing whatever is meant to be otherwise will happen.

I want to be able to buy myself a new car someday and have the apartment I have always dreamed of. I also think about how many other things are interesting to me. Beyond the "glamour" of filmmaking, I realized I don't need that "glamour" and fancy story to write home about to like myself. I need to be a person that I like, not what I perceive as being a person other people will like.

I have, for a long time, been caught up in other people's values and what that says about me but also completely forgotten what I want and more importantly what I want to be in the present -- and where I want to be in the future.

Its how I am learning to provide for my needs. I deserve that.

I want to be fiscally responsible and work at a boring 9-5 job to do it. That doesn't make me boring. It allows me to do the other things I want to do in life which are exciting and make me feel secure enough to go for it.

I think I make life a little too much about others and so little about myself.. for myself.
I am the only one I can really know. I am the only one I can really make happy. I am also the only one I will be stuck with today.. tomorrow and in the future. And if I want to be able to give in that future, I have to be in touch with all of that.

A lot of that comes down to stopping the "wondering and wishing" and be more in the "doing and feeling". Its not a puzzle to be solved. Its kind of black and white.

Should be simple. Its working for you or its not.

But sometimes I want something to work so bad that I make it complicated.. or I wish that something that won't be, would just work out.

We are taught that ANYTHING you want you can have if you work hard enough.. but sometimes its best to be happy with what you have and the things that give you security ..things that don't ride on your self esteem all the time.. and have less constant and painful risks.

Not because you gave up on what you thought you wanted or what you thought would make you happy.. but because you are finally pursuing what you really need and what will truly make you happy.  Despite what you want, what you need is always going to be true.. and the rest will always going to work out if you are consistent and its meant to be :)

So, I'm going to slow down. Tune in. Live in the moment and the positive things it can bring. And be happy


Definitely easier said than done.. :)