self trust.

Number one thing I am working on currently is self trust.

It seems so weird that it has taken me this long. But really, anxiety can have a devastating effect on your intuition and can make you question the things you do all the time. You will intuitively know that you should make a particular decision for yourself but the fact you are anxious makes you re-examine and question it over and over and over.

Building self-trust, for me, it going to have to be a long process of suffering and holding my anxiety and then watching the world more carefully to see how much my anxiety in projecting on to it.

Trusting the beauty that is inside of me when I am facing things that scare me is the hardest thing. I tend to discredit the glowing person that I can be when I am happy.

When I am happy, life is good just where it stands and I can accept whatever there is as neither good nor bad. But when I am anxious, I have a hard time doing this for myself and people who don't understand anxiety don't really have compassion for that.

That is why self trust has been hard because I have denied myself self-compassion about where my struggles are. I see myself as the only one who is having a hard time and I don't see that people from all walks struggle with their own form of anxiety and have their own issues that hurt them everyday.

Self trust will put me in a better place. Getting into the present and out of my head will put me in a better place.

When you do things out of anxiety it can be hard not to feel shame. But what I definitely am learning is that you will stay stuck unless you put one foot in front of the other.

There is nothing I can do to change my past and the mistakes I have made or the shame that anxiety has made me feel.

All I can do is make my present vibrant and amazing. That is taking one step forward instead of allowing myself to become stuck.