amen

found at bad animals, seattle

fashion icons.

women to be like..


kate moss

drew barrymore

karen o

alison mosshart

chloe sevigny

bip ling

sofia coppola

agyness deyn

marina diamandis

sooo...

I tore apart my room today.

Trying to get myself and my life in order for whatever may end up happening next.

found some cool stuff in the process..

happy to find so much Sahale-ness all around me. haha

SURE. im game.

boyfriend? X

hm..

hobbies? X

..

friends? X

events? X

good then.

work then?

we shall be good friends..

I shall name you George, office desk,

so that when people ask where I am going

they will think I'm visiting a totally awesome

friend instead of going back to work..

OR

that I'm hanging out with this super sweet

hunky George guy till 10 PM in the evening..

instead of editing film footage.

good then.

I have no life, so film..

duck, duck, goose!

you are it.

I wouldn't call myself ambitious.. just

differently lifestyled.

God! you asked for it.

I have nothing else to do, so the message is

for me to focus on film.

I want to be the best at every challenge

I face.. but since working is all I've got,

I am going to be the BEST DAD-GUM

OFFICE COFFEE MAKER and

packing peanut disposer AND

random PACKAGE mailer

ERRAND runner GIRL, and

OFFICE SUPPLY purchaser,

this film company has ever seen

and the best assistant to the assistant

of Tom Gorai in recent history.

more filmic pursuits and updates to

come..

love,

SAHALE

being good people

I'm starting to believe that God intended us to be good people.. not good Christians.

I always had this perception that you needed to be a good Christian.

What does that pertain?

Well, my friends, being a good Christian means dotting your I's and crossing your T's in study of the Bible and making sure NOT to ever break any rules. It arbitrary. You do it because God told you to.

But being a good Christian, in that case can make you a worthless... no good for nothing person.

Seriously, self flagellation and self hatred?

Denying yourself?

That is one possible extreme.

Judging others and forcing them into your paradigm another.

Naivety about how the world works and how it interacts.

The more experience I have gain about the world and the more that I have lived in the world and been ambitious and excited about excelling, the more I realize that I would rather be a good person than a good Christian any day.

Success, I know now, is pinned on: A. relationships, and deep ones. Shallow, uncaring, unconcerned relationships are useless in my opinion, and all deep relationships are based on trust and honesty.

I'm not talking about telling the truth and fessing up to being the one who "chopped down the cherry tree"

I'm talking about representing to others.. the world.. who you really are. Being genuine.

Being genuine is so valuable.

AND B. hard work. reliable work. trustworthy work..

Being empowered and proud to be who you are.. is so powerful. Because others know what you stand for.. that they can rely on you. That you can be trusted 100%. Personally and professionally. They don't have to see the future because they know what you are going to make happen for them.

This allows you to be successful. To make things happen.. to open doors.

Being that person though is hard.

You can't do it for you.

You can't do it for them.

I have found you have to do it for something bigger.

Maybe its the principle of the matter.

Maybe its to make something bigger than yourself.

This is where I feel like Christianity fits.

We already have something bigger to serve. To force us to be better.. to be AMAZING people. To stand out from the crowd. Because we are doing these great human and tangible things for something way bigger. Its beyond us.

That doesn't mean that we have go out and be missionaries better and help people better. That might not be our gift.

That means that we do anything and everything we are talented at, at the top of our game.

We put fillings in teeth better.

We strive to fly planes better.

We make a better cellphone.

We build stronger relationships.

We want to take care of our bodies better.

We want to be the best grocery bagger ever!!

We want to make films better.Because we know we can be that better. We know it is in us to be gloriously amazing. We know because we know God gave us that potential.

It not about being righteous.. it is about being an AMAZING citizen of the world. The best example of human being that we can be and to keep trying to attain that everyday.. in everything we do.

Its not about whether or not we are doing things we should..

Its not about fulfilling other's expectations.. and falling in line.

Stoping our fooling around and being responsible.

It about being AWESOME, for ourselves. Being responsible because we can create and be SO much. Because we can have true happiness if we let go of getting high on skating through hard stuff.

We make life happen for us.

Sorry. I have found that happiness does NOT just happen. We have to grab it by the scruff of the neck, we have to force it into existence.. like every good thing that is created in life.

..

It doesn't mean Christians always do it better.

But what better motivation is there than to do it for a creator? Something so amazing and so powerful.

I'm not even sure where I stand with God. But I do want that.

It seems smart.

It seems punk rock.

And of all the amazingness I strive for its so much easier to suffer the hard lessons of life to know that you will be a better person for it.

That you can keep your eye on the bottom line: What our God-given ideal is,

and then strive for that.

What could be a more admirable goal?

masters. pratice=perfect

I SHALL

//no. 1

be doing a lot of writing

//no. 2

be doing a lot of researching

and pulling apart films from the inside out.

I will master this.

So I was looking at Kickstarter today to see the other films that are being funded by the general public.

The film I want to make is about getting your soul stolen. Getting your soul stolen by other people. Particularly by letting a romantic relationship swallow you, or ideas swallow you, or the process of loosing innocence damage you.

Most of the films are romantic comedies that are meant to show moments that make you a twitter. Moments upon moments.. WITH NOTHING ELSE COMPELLING HAPPENING EVER.

I want to tell stories about things I know and have experienced.

Like walking down the street from a rock concert where you saw your ex-boyfriend making out with his new girlfriend. Frantically knocking on the door of a party where everyone is drunkinly dance humping each other so that you can slump into the back bedroom to cry in a safe place.

Like, lying on a mattress someone drug on to the roof and exchanging shallow stories at the stars.

Sitting in the parking lot at four AM talking with a friend about life, love, goals.. and a man come up and asks us if we have any "rock".

Watching the sun rise because you have stay up all night with someone you thought you could fall in love with.

I am good at intuition. I am good at moments.. breathing, falling, rising... real moments. I can feel a moment forming.

I am good at imagery. Collecting it and moving it and orchestrating it to tell a bigger picture.

But the story? That compels that feeds.. that intrigues. I don't want to make a quirky off beat comedy that is just filled with moments. I want to make a classic. A film to be remembered. A film that everyone relates to. A film that has something to say while it does something too.

In all the films I saw. I noticed that it wasn't the visuals that necessarily caught my eye. Dead story and dead performances..... make that gorgeous image dead and ugly .. period.

I'm tired of candy wrappers with out the candy inside. I'm tired of gazing at pretty images and that being all there is. I'm tired of looking at my own images and seeing that. I want something real.. something dirty.. something not afraid to take chances. Something adept and in-tune and paced well and not rushed.. but a quiet storm.. that takes the senses.. that causes you to forget this space for another authored one.

I want to feel as inspired to watch my own stuff as the movies that compelled me as a kid.

I need a story. I need a good one.

some recent artistic endeavors. yay!

SHE's

tbtf

tbtfttbtf

tbtftbtftbtf

-kevin drew

Janelle Monae is the shizz

from the website www.booooooom.com

Beck’s Record Club

Beck’s Record Club is a one of my favourite projects on the internet right now. A cast of musicians gather and record an album in a day, and the videos are rough, and unrehearsed, and sometimes incredible.

Watch a few of the videos below!

Record Club: INXS "Kick" from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

INXS – “Kick” – St. Vincent + Liars + Os Mutantes>

Record Club: Skip Spence "Books Of Moses" from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

Skip Spence – “Books of Moses” – Feist + Jamie Lidell + Wilco

Record Club: Yanni "Keys To Imagination" from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

Yanni – “Keys to Imagination” – Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) + Tortoise

rants. for you though!

gosh,

I started an eharmony account.

and boy. when I rated spirituality as important I did mean that I wanted to meet people like this:

what is the most important thing in your life:

JESUS!

what are you passionate about

JESUS

and

PRAYING!!

what activities do you enjoy:

OUTREACH and EVANGELISM

what are the 5 most important influences in your life:

JESUS

the Bible

God

the 10 Commandments

and

CHURCH!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yet!

at the same time

I don't want someone who is

how many dates is it???

oh yeah, 4 until you HAVE to sleep with me.

"If I don't get laid.. forget us being together.."

contrived and selfish peer pressure

Can't their be a middle ground? Can't their be people that live driven from within.. that just live without worry.. without so much s-t-r-i-f-e. With an understanding of the world as a whole.

Who go with the flow. Have some spontaneity. Live life with open wonder.. yet a developed and mature sense of self?

Sometimes I feel too complicated.

If I had a genre .. secular or religious.. it seems life would be so much easier, but then I would have to leave my personality and brains at the door.

Well, whoever you may be.

smart

sexy

spiritual

willing to sleep with me and doesn't believe he is going to hell if he does

willing to wait to sleep with me if I am not ready

self-assured

goal-oriented

good decision making

non black-and-white

deep relationship seeking

life enjoying

spontaneous

responsible

thought provoking

man

I hope you exist.. because I will wait for you.

and you will be intensely precious

lets say

time will tell

if I believe in you or not.

quit hanging out with the Easter bunny and Santa Claus and come find me.!!

"If I let you in,

I'll just want

out."

# one trait I want to aspire to is: to be counted on. without a shadow of a doubt.

a follow-through girl. a steady, trustworthy girl.

celebration, FL.. creepy?

I just heard there was the first ever recorded murder in Disney created perfect town Celebration, Florida near their DisneyWorld Park.

Is it just me or the whole place just really eerie and creepy?

two new.

I've seemly-ing broken into this year with very little new music, and now at the end I am discovering all the good music of the year.

Two new bands that I just got to listen at top volume in my car are:

GLASSER which is the code name for Cameron Mesirow, who was inspired by "a midnight vision of a figure hovering over water."

I don't really know how to describe it, but if you liked the tunes of School of Seven Bells you love Ms. Mesirow.

Check out these two songs from her new album apply.

I think its like if Le Loup and Anne Clark had a baby.

+++++

=======

Then recently I hit across a band that is not totally the type of sound I am used to being into. Its kind of a fusion album is headed up by Daniel Lanios, who is a well know album producer who has produced the work of artists such as Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Peter Gabriel, Emmylou Harris, and Willie Nelson. He is best know for his collaboration with Brian Eno for a lot of the U2 albums including The Joshua Tree.
The other half of the band is vocalist, Trixie Whitley, who is daughter of Chris Whitley an American blues singer songwriter and guitarist.

I can't believe Trixie Whitley is white. That is all I have to say. In fact, I didn't know she was white until I researched her for this article. Check out this performance..
The band is called Black Dub.

live mt. rainier.

what the mountain looks like right now. gorgeous.

you can always see it here

conquerors!

I was think today
about how much value I find in others.

Last night I was talking with my boss and he had many
encouraging and kind words about my work

plus strategies I should pursue to make my career dreams blossom.

He sees more in me then I did in that moment. But through

his eyes I started to see someone who could really become something.

A defense mechanism I have always used is to put my expectations of myself

low. To demoralize my efforts as an effort to look alright if I fail.

I've now been told twice how immature that is.

Thinking that way is just as annoying to others as acting puffed up and over confident.

People want you to seize the moment, to claim it and know that you can

be counted on to rock it! Faith in yourself that you are that person who can

do it better than anyone else! Not for yourself but for objective awesomeness!

Faith: belief that is not based on proof

Sometimes I think that we need a little faith in ourselves.

I started to believe in myself again. I started to feel strong in my
abilities. Feeling strong in having a contribution to the world.
Its not so much that my self-value is locked in money or fame
but its locked in contributing something and others seeing it
as valuable.

I started to think. Why did I have to wait for permission to feel this way?

Why do I feel miserable and like a failure if others don't obviously affirm it and see it as worthy?

As soon as I heard it from someone else's lips, I felt like I could
conquer the world!

Action starts with belief and I think that sometimes that only I have cut myself down.

right out of the gate I don't believe or have faith.

The world wants people who are confident.

The world wants people who are strong.

The world wants people who don't blend in. who are different.

The world wants people who are courageous.

The world wants people who know what they rock at and run with it!

Passionately and without looking back.

Without second guessing

And without remorse or self-deprecation!

Don't be arrogant people!

But know what you are good at and hold your head up high doing it.

Sure you may not be good at somethings, and that will keep you humble

enough..

but for God's sake!! run with the things that you are amazing at and conquer!

go forth and rock, my friends!!!

victory

Its interesting to me the big gap between traditional success and the appearance of it. Appearances of success work to a certain level, but any truly and very successful person has that success come from within..

If madness is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results then a lot of us are mad.

We try different approaches to success on the outside and fail to understand that it is what is within that is the most valuable asset that we have.

OUR unique ideas, points of view, and inner strength.

We choose professions that we are unskilled at because we want people to think we are "cool".

We choose relationships that are bad for us because we think other people will see us as worthwhile for being next to that person.

We neglect that still small knowing of what we need in our truest of hearts for what we think we want and what we think others will be attracted to.

What is consider successful looking:

1. Good Job

2. Top in you field at your job

3. Wife/girlfriend or Husband/boyfriend

4. Nice and organized house or apartment and car

5. Ducks in a row // happy&&content

6. Direction and goal in life

7. Not addicted to anything

8. Honest and hard working

9. Lots of friends//people who respect you

Its also interesting that these can ALL be faked and lied about or half-truthed.

Its REALLY tempting to be that person, to half truth yourself into being the typical model of success to make yourself feel better about yourself. To appear as successful as those around you who are trying to appear to be the same thing. haha

Its somethings I've been struggling with.

But in my heart I know that success comes from a successful foundation from within and a ton of hard mileage put in.

If you have a job that looks successful but hate it.. or are only in the job because it has cache or some sort of good image.. how successful is that for you as an individual?? Or you lie about your job to sound as if it bigger or better than it truly is. Sure.. it might look great, but come on.

Or if you have wife or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend.

Merely being in a relationship might look to others as though you are successful at relationships..

but always having some one is not the same as the quality of those relationships.. Do you honor, love and respect each other? In action not words?

When the going gets tough?

Do you support and challenge each other?

Those who are single might be more successful at practicing those things in regard to how they respect and honor themselves in waiting for that one.

Or being happy and contented.. if you appear to be so it only matters if what is reflected on the outside is also within.

Sure.. appearing happy is probably better than being sour, but if you are hurting on the inside, solutions need to start there.

If you are unhappy a majority of the time, its no time to find things outside of yourself to fulfill you..

you'll end up

hurting your career potential

ruining relationships

mess up goals

This is the time to take action and figure out what is wrong from within.

To be, what some would consider as selfish.

A lot emotional issues shouldn't be left un-dealt with just because your pride gets in the way.

You may appear weak in the beginning but you will find TRUE strength in the end, not just the appearance of such.

Weakness on the inside will only lead to weakness in everything and anything you try to do on the outside.

Don't be fooled into thinking as long as you can develop great habits of lying about who you are, that people will believe what is still bull shit.

Even I can't believe my own. haha

Not everything is left up to circumstance. You can reach out and MAKE it different and if you have run out of ideas on how.. that is when you should talk to an objective counselor. The amount of things you will learn about yourself in this process will produce strategies to be successful in every endeavor you may undertake after that point! It will be monumental!

Why is this hard?

1. You must take accountability for your mistakes.

2. You must see your involvement in them.

3. You can't play the victim anymore. ( of life, of God, of other people's mistakes )

All these are just an evasion of putting in the hard work. To becoming a truly strong individual.

There is no failure, because in what society sometimes sees as "failure" you know as the first step to a phoenix rising. You should feel no shame for being weak and being honest about that. EVERYONE feels that way.. at least at one point in their lives.

The test of a person of potential strength is that they don't let it stay there. They do something about it. They take action. They don't feel miserable in their situation they see the opportunities to overcome!!! because I now whole-heartily believe that ANY challenge ANY hardship and ANYTHING you have faced in the past, present and future can overcome. you can be 100% victorious.

plainspeak.

{aaron roche and sound engineer and recordist, konrad synder, in the studio // NASHVILLE, TN}

my friend aaron roche just came out with his new album.

plainspeak.

its is really really good.

aaron roche has always been an amazing singer/songwriter

but in this new album he explores some new textures with his music style.

following somewhat in the footsteps of Sufjan Stevens, and playing music very spiritually influenced.. he has now added, with the help of friend, Tim Hinck, experimental and orchestral layering into his melodically sweet tunes.

the sweetness still lingers but in a somewhat dissonant and complex use of a variety of other instruments.

And! this is the first album in which Aaron Roche "rocks out" a little.

some electric guitar can be found interweaved // and his Sufjan-quality whispery falsetto comes to somewhat of a more forceful rockin rasp.!

Lyrically, Aaron, has always been off the nose and alluding, creating deeper ideas within his melodies..

In this album he goes even farther, especially with the song 'Verses for Madonna of Humility with the Temptation of Eve', in word painting and imagery that stirs the mind.

Its the darker side to Aaron's work which usually is oriented with warmth and happy lyrics.. 'mother of the bone, button and the tiny teeth..'

I start seeing dark faces peering through the glass of Tim Hinck's oboe arrangement.

I definitely recommend checking it out

In fact! you can listen to the entire album below..

//hosted by bandcamp//

If you like it! buy it! support support HERE

the jensen camp got its kanye

bought

my beautiful dark twisted fantasy

yesterday

so far so good.

the amount of guest appearance is ridiculous!

ALL OF THE LIGHTS // this song features

john legend

the-dream

ryan leslie

tony williams

charlie wilson

elly jackson

alicia keys

fergie

KID CuDi

Rihanna

&&

Elton John

this is INCREDIBLE

this is my brother's cover of Temper Trap's SWEET DISPOSITION

all instruments (including midi sounds from his midi keyboard .. for drums and such) were recorded and played by my brother. he sings as well..

blow away.

Sweet Disposition by Erik Jensen by sahalemarja

SNOW days

I've been trapped in an early Thanksgiving vacation.

Its been the most gorgeous start to winter.

its has been so cold here. colder than I think it ever has!!

down to 11 degrees last night.

In other news! I got my own camera. a CANON 60 D! lookin pretty good.
film capable at present! more more snow

a little obsessed with this artist.

daniele buetti

daniele buetti

daniele buetti

daniele buetti

what sucks

is someone telling you they think you might have low self esteem.

what doesn't suck, is to know that you weren't struggling with low self esteem but struggling with a vitamin D deficiency???

I have seriously

not been able to snap of this funk.

this sudden sadness that would grip me and not let me go.

I turned to unhealthy things and means to pull myself out of it. romances, drinking, curling up in a ball and laying in my bed for hours.. not engaging in life, etc.

I ended up feeling selfish, I ended up disliking myself. Not for what I actually did.. but for what I wanted to do..

I felt self consumed and self indulgent. Even if I didn't act on it on the outside, I felt it and knew it was true on the inside. I easily allow myself to be a victim.. I had to much worry and sadness to stand up for myself. I had to validate myself through always pleasing everyone..

Then I went to go to the doctor. For a general check up but also to get some answers, because suddenly I wasn't going to be fooled anymore.

I felt crazy.

I logically wanted one thing but my body made me feel miserable for it.

I knew that not everyone could possibly feel this way!

people that I respect and admire were naturally happy..

A week later.

My blood panel showed a severe vitamin D deficiency and I was perscribed a heavy dose of vitamin D.. 50,000 units a week.. to catch up.

Suddenly the world just is. Not in worry or anxiety.. not in constant over analyzation of myself or of others.. like before.

Finally..!!!

I tried to change my attitude a million times ..

but I know now it is impossible to be happy

if your body is sabotaging you.

Vitamin D.. while not a proven cure for depression and definitely not for most cases..

does control the serotonin in your brain.. or the hormone that triggers happiness.

seriously guys.

get regular check ups.
it could change your life quite profoundly.

&&

happiness + joy might be as near as a vitamin D prescription.

whats good. bamzers.

working on projects!

excited to have myself to myself.
working on making everything in my life amazing!
every detail.. down to the last.
plugging those cracks.. nothing will get through!

decide I need a

*wardrobe rehaul
*some interior design
*sexy underwear
*get rid of everything I don't need
*learn new recipes.. cook new dishes
*make an exercise//nutrition program.
*start making art ALL the time.


by george, im starting to feel sesual.

2 bands of import/bandcamp

found this site called bandcamp.
it helps artists sell their work online without a record label.

great for browsing new artists. I found two artist of import.
but don't take my word for it listen

SEAPONY // SEATTLE, WA

STAR SLINGER // amazing amazing
check out more from this artist here

new lykke li // get some??

Lykke Li - Get Some (Director: Johan Söderberg) from Lykke Li on Vimeo.

sums up all I want in life.

all stolen from this site ------> here // the december runaways