Sunday, April 18, 2010

DAy 14 && 15


So realized why sometimes I feel like my life is falling apart.
I don't have a direction.
Everything in my life has always been planned out and has gone according to that plan.
But now, I know what I want to do, but I don't know how to do it..
and that has put me into turmoil.
I almost am glad that I am documenting it because this is one of those pivotal moments, you know..
Like getting married. Figuring yourself out.

I realize and reiterated in my life again just how much I want to make films.
I figured out that I think this passion in my bones is not just wishful thinking, I think there is the correct potential.
Its just about how bad do I want it? How hard will I work for it?
Everything circumstance in my life has culminated towards this. I am in the perfect position to do what I want to do.
Don't blow it Sahale.
Everything that has made me, me will be tested. And rightly so, I think that happens when anyone shoots for their dreams. Its like a collaboration with the fates and seeing if you are compatible with your dreams. And if not its heart breaking.

I guess it is true that in my nature, I tend to care about things a lot.
But Ghandi cared a lot, and Martin Luther King, Jr cared a lot, so I don't think that caring is unproductive.
I got channel it into the things that matter to me that are realistic and grounding. Such as FILMMAKING! yay!

Why do I feel an overwhelming sense that I need to get out of this town? Is it intuition or is it just what I think I want. The wild west is calling me but I am young, why do I feel this wanderlust now? HA! I'm young! I love that, that is still true.. while I endeavor to do what I have wanted to do since 7th grade, great filmmakers come into their calling at around forty, winning first academy awards! I have a good 20 years on the road ahead. A good 20 years that will be dedicated to the task.

So bring it on.
Two weeks.
The anticipation is killing me!

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um... new looks <O> <O>