DAY 18 //

nothing is more amazing than snuggling in a clean and comfy bed. mmm.
well, maybe snuggling in it with someone else but that is of the future times my friends.

But seriously. what I simple pleasure is relaxing in a comfortable place. Reading a book.

Last night I was sort of desperate and pissed that life is so confusing right now! I don't know what I am doing, I don't know where I am going.




I gained a little courage when new and good friend Chris Stiles plan a road trip home across the great United States. All the amazing places to hit up! Zion, Arches, The Grand Canyon, Yosemite.. I told him I was really worried about where I was meant to be in life. He said to me that the first thing we were going to figure out, before all this fun madness of a road trip was figured out, was my mind being at ease about a job. He then encouraged me to apply at a rental house, maybe in Seattle, maybe in L.A.. wherever I would be happy. That was such a small gesture but it moved mountains for my spirit. Some one worried about my solid and complete welfare.. as a struggling individual.., definitely in doubt.

I decide last night that


A: I believe in love and that it can happen

B: If I believe in love, everything I have been taught makes me believe the only way to true love is through God.

C: If I choose God I have to work at a relationship, or I will be swept away.

It is our ultimate responsibility what relationship we have with God. If we know we want him in our life, we HAVE TO GIVE HIM EVERYTHING. and we know what that means.. otherwise it is very hard for Him to work and eventually..
we won't care about Him anymore,
we won't need him anymore.

I definitely have seen evidence of this in my life.
Doubts are always present.
Nothing in life is provable.
You just gotta choose where your faith will lie and leap!

Being in the middle only causes pain and torment for yourself and your soul.
Its really all or nothing.
Because in the middle nothing works.
You can't know if you are truly blessed.
You can't know if there is any true value..

So that means I have to chase it.

Its not a conversion experience, it is a conversion JOURNEY.
and if you let it stagnate whether or not you made the choice to be a part of it,
guess what? it will.
Its choosing by inaction.

so no more for me! I going to try to dive in!
get down to business!
find love love love love

I listen to Mr. Rob Bell this morning, and he said that STORMS WILL COME. People will hurt you, things will fall apart, you might get cancer and die, but GOD IS CULTIVATED in your life with the express purpose to WEATHER THAT STORM. not to stop it form happening because God cannot stop the natural consequences of our sinful world, but to give us peace, to give us joy, and the strength and character to weather it. Of course, everybody is fine when things are fine and dandy, but the storm is the refining fire and lets us see where we stand.

powerful! (said with a James Brown swagger in the voice)

Jónsi - Go Do from Jónsi on Vimeo.